Sacred Weaving: The Alchemy of Ill-Matched Threads
The very first time I read these words, so masterfully penned by Rilke, I was completely floored.
Well…more a combination of swooning and melting over the poignant truth of each line.
“In the softness of evening it’s you she receives. You are the partner of her loneliness, the unspeaking center of her monologues. With each disclosure you encompass more and she stretches beyond what limits her, to hold you.”
Ever had one of those nights?
I know I have. So many, in fact.
Those nights were some of the most formative moments in my life (thus far), where all the “ill-matched threads” of my life came into stark focus.
You know the feeling: looking at the state of things, inwardly and outwardly, and asking yourself not only, “How did I get here?” but “What in the world am I going to do now?”
One might call it a “Dark Night of the Soul” - the initiatory event frequently spoken of by the mystics, in which one is drawn to a deeper perception of life and is thusly transformed.
On those nights, with every sigh, every tear, every cavernous ache in my chest…my monologue was written. Without speaking a word, my lonely prayers were lifted upwards.
I found myself deep in the place that Clarissa Pinkola Estes called “La Selva Subterránea,” the Underground Forest, and to make matters worse, I knew exactly what had put me there.
You know what? I was simply too fearful and exhausted to do anything about it, and I took up a permanent residence in Shame over that fact.
A question that we must all ask ourselves:
What are “ill-matched threads?” More specifically, “what are my ill-matched threads?”
To answer, I will pose yet another question.
What hurts?
That is where the thread in your tapestry broke off, frayed, or maybe was cut against your will.
Another question:
What haunts you?
Another:
What’s weighing you down?
Oh, the burdens we bear. Sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes not. But always heavy.
Dear One, take heart. Here’s why we need never fear the dark:
Our deepest wound is our deepest magic.
It is at our darkest moment when we have truly been given a priceless gift.
The sacred, magical, and alchemical task of “Weaving the Ill-Matched Threads” is at hand.
Can we take all the moments of brokenness, all the moments we’re embarrassed or ashamed of, all the ways in which we did not show up for ourselves and others, all the times we have been mistreated or mistreated those around us, and do the most radical thing?
Transform them?
Dare we?
It requires great courage, this act of turning our shame into gold.
It takes great faith and surrender to LET our shame be turned into gold.
What I have learned is this:
If I didn’t have those terribly dark nights, I can’t imagine that I would have ever stretched beyond my many limitations, or found myself so very “held.”
If I didn’t choose to see even the ugliest parts of life as an integral part of the Beauty-of-it-all, I would never have begun to weave the most unique and stunning tapestry, and come to call it:
“My Life: The Masterpiece.”
Lovelights, a vital message below, copied straight from www.mentalhealth.gov:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
TTY: 1-800-799-4889
suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Live Online Chat